Love, I'm On My Knees
by Zyuushimatsu
Summary: How can you love someone, and hate them at the same time? / I know I should be updating GASCYKI, but this story was too fogging my mind and it was too much to pass up. Forgive me. I'll get to updating that as soon as I get a good idea for it. c:
_March 30, 2016._

 _9:10 pm._

 _"I don't fuck with your rude ass"_ The text had caught her by surprise. She was reading online when her phone gave off the all too familiar typewriter ringtone.

 _"Lol don't text me"_ What the hell do you mean don't text you?! He told her to never forget to text him every day, no matter if he was angry with her or wanted to go out with her. It took her a moment but she immediately knew what he was talking about.

 _"I didn't mean it when I said you stuttered_

 _Sorry"_ She sent the text half-heartedly, knowing he was angry, just too tired to care about something as trivial as that. Stuttering, how bad could it truly be that someone would get so angry that they wouldn't want to fuck with someone anymore?

She began her reply after a few minutes on silence; her phone lit up once more.

 _"You struck a nerve never struck before"_

Her fingers tapped the screen lightly and with tired eyes, she sent her response. Say if this happened to her in the past, she would be crying her eyes out right now. But that's not the case. Not anymore. Frankly, she was tired of his shit. Tired of the fact she had to keep their relationship down low, and watch him be in a fake, pitiful, one-sided relationship with a girl who disrespected her and him, and broke his word too many times to count.

Not once, has she ever broken his word. She knows how important his word is to him. But you're with her because what? Her mother asked you to be? She's dying of colon cancer?

The girl he fell in love with is dying way faster than her. Her ovarian cancer is destroying her and she knows it. She's just not telling him. As for his "girlfriend", she's getting help, something his lover can't afford.

So his lover suffers in silence.

She rolled her eyes, knowing that the boy would come around. In a few days time, he would come around again.

 _"I didn't mean it at all, it was really just a joke. I didn't know I struck such a bad nerve. But alright._

 _I'm sorry though. I won't do it again."_

The response was lightning quick.

 _"I don't really care for your apology nigga_

 _I don't fuck with you"_

 _..._

 _"Nvrm_

 _That's not something to joke about_

 _I told you I stuttered bc of so called ADHD ass_

 _Like what kind of shit_

 _Ugh_

 _Just..."_

She wanted to get angry. In fact, she already was. So, apparently he had the right to tell her, that her hair was too thin, she was only beautiful because she was half-Asian and that if she was full black, he wouldn't even be with her. That her vagina was loose? He doesn't even talk to her face to face anymore. He doesn't tell her anything anymore. Instead, she rolled her eyes one more time and responded slowly.

 _"I'm sorry. I should've never joked about something like that. I didn't know and I wasn't thinking."_

 _"NAH you legit hurt my feelings"_

 _"You know I didn't mean too at all. Not one bit. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I won't do it again. I'll remember next time and be more careful."_

She kept shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She didn't wanna waste her breathe anymore.

His responses were like poison.

 _"Do I really_

 _U had ms v asking me if I needed to go outside_

 _It's fine_

 _Bye_

 _Asshole"_

She wanted to set him on fire.

 _"I'm serious Indre. You know I didn't mean it not one bit, I didn't mean to strike that nerve, nonetheless I didn't even know I was striking it._

 _I'm sorry, and I won't do it again. I promise."_

Seems her promise wasn't enough she assumed.

 _"Yeah yeah_

 _Bye"_

* * *

 _All because of a joke in Spanish._

 _So apparently, I'm the bad person now. And you're not fucking with me. That's fucking fine. It's not like you took care of my ass anyways. You were SO_ caught _up in Angelena you forgot who your real ride or die was! And you're going to "not fuck with me" because I was joking and didn't know that you stuttering had struck a bad nerve. You never fucking talk to me like you used too! I forgot you even had ADHD. No more face to face conversations of him telling me he loved me anymore..._

 _I know I get mad over little shit like when he tells me my hair is thin and I'm cute only because I'm half Asian but I don't tell him don't fuck with me anymore. We literally end up laughing about it._

 _So what's his fucking problem!? Just because of something I said?! But compared to the shit you say to me, and the shit you've done to me, what I did was fucking nothing!_

 _It's okay though. I don't give a fuck. You don't have to talk to me anymore._

 _WE DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO BE IN LOVE ANYMORE._

 _You threw me to the side, wasted time with a bitch who didn't even deserve the time and chances you gave her._

 _If you don't wanna talk anymore and treat me like I'm Angelena, then I'm fine with that. I don't give a fuck. Just know that I'm not Angelena and you didn't waste your time with me._

 _I gave you everything. And asked for nothing in return, but for you to love me like I loved you._

 _And you didn't._

 _And I'm fucking tired. I'm your first love. I'm the one you're in love with. You took everything I gave you._

 _And I'm not leaving until I get it all back._

 _If I leave, I'm taking your soul with me._

 _I won't leave until I fucking ruin you like you ruined me._

All these angry thoughts, caused by the one person she swore to love.

 _"Love,_ I'm on my knees."


End file.
